Wednesday, June 20, 2012

I get knocked down

I'm angry. Not just angry, jealous and confused.
Tonight: Friend on Facebook writes about her daughter who isn't even a year took her first unassisted two steps.
Earlier this evening: Picture me trying to coax Vincent into pulling up. PULLING UP! He throws a fit when we make him stand, let alone try to get him interested in anything beyond that. It's baffling to be a parent of a child who isn't curious and eager enough to want to do things on his own. He'd rather sit back and watch all the other kids, or lately, have us participate with him. The therapists tell us that though Vincent has low muscle tone, much of it is his personality. He has to be ready to make the decision to try something out.
I know one day he'll be walking just fine and this will all be great story to tell the grandkids, but honestly, it pisses me off because in the meantime Vincent is missing out on a lot. At his daycare they won't let him progress to the toddler room to be with other kids his age because he can't walk. So he hangs out with babies all day who don't do a whole lot of interacting with him. They're also drinking from bottles (while he's drinking from a sippy cup) and eating baby food (he's eating table food), which he's fully aware is different. Some days I'm told he wants a bottle and their food. He doesn't understand why his is different. I worry that he has to play by himself a lot since babies aren't horribly social with one another, and maybe that's why he doesn't want to play by himself at home because after doing it all day, he's craving playing with his loving parents whom he can trust. I'm trying to be patient, but it breaks my heart some days.
I've found that the biggest part of parenting is accepting who your child is. Someday I could very well be accepting if my child is gay, a nerd, a loner, or some other quality that I don't fully understand. So while all of this is heartbreaking for me, Vincent is an amazing little boy who loves to cuddle and be held, who's hanging onto babyhood for dear life. Why am I so eager to push when he so clearly isn't ready? Why am I trying to change his fundamental nature? After all, who doesn't love a snugly kid?

6 comments:

  1. Awe buddy, society puts a lot of pressure on kids to grow up. I'm sorry this so heartbreaking as a parent. He is a fabulous little boy with loving parents. Try not to compare him to other kiddos. Celebrate all he can do. Looking into how other daycares handle moving up sounds like a good idea. You are his mother, and know him better than anyone in the world. If your gut says look around at other places, trust your intuition. An at home daycare may be a better environment where he isn't required to meet certain standards in order to be around kids his age or older.

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    1. P.S. I love you, and think you and JL are awesome parents! Vincent is so very blessed to have you as his mom and dad!

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  2. Agree with the above! Parents know their child the best and is their first teacher. Children learn at their own speed. It sounds like he is a sweet toddler. ps...Cooper didn't pull up much at all and he walked later than his cousins and others around him at daycare. He is now always on the run!

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  3. "I've found that the biggest part of parenting is accepting who your child is." So true. It's amazing how much we actually learn about life by being parents. I find myself comparing Liam to other kids (even though I know I shouldn't!), and I find the whole thing maddening, too. I'm sure Vincent will be running circles around you in no time, but it's so hard when you're stuck in that moment before it happens. Liam wouldn't feed himself for the longest time, and it drove. Me. Nuts! I thought he'd never master it, that I'd be spoon feeding him yogurt in kindergarten. But then suddenly he did it, and he hasn't looked back. I'm sure it'll be the same for Vincent and walking. Just hang in there!

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  4. Hello
    I get knocked down
    Enjoyed reading this. Effectively stated and with wonderful timing. Thanks for the great post.

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  5. Hang in there! V is adorable! Let me know if I can help cheer you up in any way!

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