Tuesday, August 28, 2012

How will I tell you Mommy has MS?

This question has been running through my head lately. Of course we're not anywhere near this milestone, but still, it's a subject that requires delicacy. Children only understand what's right in front of them. Mommy's throwing up=Mommy's sick. Mommy's got a cut on her finger=Mommy's hurt. But how do you explain something that can have no outward signs (if you're lucky) or how do you explain the sudden onslaught of potentially scary things. Mommy can't walk=Mommy can't play with me. Not true, I know, but it's still something a child might think.

I'm fortunate that I have no symptoms. I take a once daily, painful injection to ward them off. And it's working. How long? Who knows.

I worry because my mother was sick. She both suffered from anxiety and from emphysema. Going out in public was difficult for her, let alone getting out with an oxygen tank and the fear that someone could be wearing obnoxious perfume that could send her into a asthmatic-anxiety tailspin. She didn't even make it to my college graduation.

I know I have a better chance being a more healthy mother than mine ever was, but will I be perceived as normal if I don't continue to do as well has I have been? Children are mean and naturally have bullish tendencies from all the hormones racing through them. I hope that my health never gets in the way of being the mother I always wished I had had and the mother Vincent wants and deserves.

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