Chapter closing

Today marks the last day of the very last maternity leave I'll take. Monday I'll return to work, and right now, we're planning to be done with a family four strong. The sides are even: two boys and two girls. Right now we think that's pretty perfect, my body is tired, our mentality is tired from dealing with a baby and a preschooler, and we're ready to focus our energies to continue to raise these two halfings up proud. And maybe take some epic vacation in the coming years.

I've loved my 10 weeks off with my sweet Isla. She's such a good baby. Where Vincent was only happy being held and rarely smiled, Isla thinks being held means you're trying to put her to sleep (she's right sometimes), so you have to hold her a certain way or put her down and she's full of smiles, coos, and talks. The other day I'm pretty sure she tried to say "I love you." I think she's going to be my zesty energetic one, while Vincent is my deep sensitive one. I'm good with that. I love them both fiercely. I'm their mama bear. And I'm so excited to watch them grow up together. I can't even really remember what it was like before Isla, almost as if she's always been here.

Yesterday was chickabee's 2-month appointment. I've been fretting about her weight since Vincent struggled in that department. I can't help but compare and anticipate the worst because of him, but Isla is 2 ounces shy of 11 pounds! She's also in the 76 percentile for height. I'll have to dig out Vincent's stats to compare, I'm pretty sure she's beating him!

 I didn't get nearly all the things I wanted to get done on my maternity leave that I had planned, but I'm good with that. A new era is dawning in this household, so I've plenty of time to clean out the basement later. For now I'll just enjoy these sweet gummy smiles and almost four year old excitement over playing Go Fish with his mama. Plus, I found a new show, Castle, during my leave. I think that's a successful leave!

 

 

 

My freelance black hole has Starbucks and a new scarf

I've been sucked down the freelance writing vortex again. The black hole of my social and blogging life. But the black hole does have a Starbucks, which I've been living off of. Have you tried the new caramel flan latte. Sounds gross, but it's pretty good. It's no caramel brûlée latte, which I really enjoyed over the holidays {in the little red cups}. Go give it a try if you want something different. I also decided to accept the Starbucks Via challenge. I bought the vanilla latte flavor. I hated it. Couldn't even stand to take more than three little sips. Jonathan, on the other hand, said he liked it, which was surprising. So I guess he'll be enjoying the three packets I still have left. I'm not sure I'll try the Caffe Mocha flavor, especially when my new make-at-home coffee routine is to use up some hot chocolate packets we received as a Christmas gift. I dump in a packet, add strong coffee, and a touch of milk for my own cafe mocha creation on the cheap.

And because I'm saving so much money making my cafe mochas, I hired a barista for days I can't make it to Starbucks. He has a steep learning curve ahead of him.

To perk myself up I splurged and bought a navy scarf at Target. I love navy. What I like about this scarf is that it has some geometric texture and little navy metallic threads running through it that make it a little bit more surprising than just a plain scarf. I've worn it almost everyday, probably breaking a million fashion rules in the meantime just because it makes me so happy—and motivated. I need motivation like I need coffee right now—all the time. I don't see the scarf on Target's website and I'm not even sure of the brand. 

When I wasn't writing this week, I was constructing snowmen for Vincent. He's obsessed with the snowman series by Caralyn Buehner. I tell people I read them for the art.

 

This has been my week. Three screens all doing different things as I climb my way out of the writing vortex. On the plus side, I'm now schooled on reshoring, which is one of the most likely economic trends in 2014 to grow. Buy American!

 

It was a week for selfies. Really I take these pictures for my sisters who I text all day every day. This was my grandmother's shirt. It's vintage Bill Blass. I don't have a hang of how to wear it yet since the cut isn't anything like the modern cut and fit of today's button-up shirts. I love the sweet delicate floral pattern. It looks so good with my riding boots—almost like I might go riding!

Vincent in his Monster Jammies. Today was jammie day at school and who else but Mike Wazowski would do? Actually Vincent seemed a little disturbed to be taking off one pair of jammies to put on another. I thought I might not be able to convince him to wear them and was even pulling out an outfit when he changed his mind. Oh, to be a toddler. So stressful. I'm glad he decided to wear them since everyone in his class was in jammies, including his teachers. I should have worn jammies.

 

I finally got around to getting a haircut. OK, it was more like a trim, but the new haircut has bangs. I'm trying to play it cool and let them hang in my face like I just don't care. No, actually, I tucked them behind my ear .02 seconds after this picture. Why was I thinking I could handle bangs in my eyes? On the plus side, Jonathan thinks they look good, so there's that.

To the zoo

My company gave us the last two Fridays off {for good behavior}, and because Jonathan already has Fridays off working four 10-hour workdays {yeah, it sucks}, we decided we should spend one solely on Vincent. Usually the weekends are so packed, we don't just get to stop and enjoy Vincent. What's more, we don't often get a chance to take him away for the day. 

So on Thursday evening we told him that we'd be headed to the zoo tomorrow {after he wake up, Vincent speak}. I'm not sure who was more excited, Vincent or me! I knew he'd enjoy every moment of it. He loves getting out and about with us when we go places and he's so easy. In fact, sometimes I think it's easier just to go somewhere and not have to endure playing with him {which currently consists of him bossing us to no end}.

On Friday morning we headed out. We opted not to go to the big city zoo and instead headed to Topeka, which has a zoo probably a fourth of the size. I'm sort of a seen one zoo you've seen them all kind of girl, so I knew I wouldn't be disappointed and I knew Vincent wouldn't know the difference.

We brought the stroller just in case, but that boy, the one who will have only been walking a year come October, walked the entire thing, maybe even ran half of it {so proud of him that I glow and wipe away happy relief tears}. None of the animals really held his interest long. He kept saying "I want to see something else," .2 seconds after stepping up to the cage. Not one to dawdle at a zoo, I was fine if we didn't take our time. 

There were lots of inquisitive questions: there's the daddy elephant, and the mommy elephant, but where's the Vincent elephant? I had no answer. Where was the Vincent elephant?

The other perk going on a Friday morning: no crowds. I think I counted 20 cars in the parking lot. I'm sure most of them were probably SAHM looking for an escape. 

And yes, he's the proud owner of light-up Spider-man shoes. He has no idea who that is, but we couldn't resist getting him light-up shoes at Stride Rite. He was pretty proud to show them off later that day at Daddy's work. 

Waiting waiting waiting

I'm amid a land of plenty. Plenty of babies, that is. I swear everyone and her sister is either making babies, cooking babies, and having babies. I'm not in any of the camps, and I have to say, right now, it hurts just a little in a strange way. Honestly, I'm not entirely ready to go through THAT again, but it would be nice if I that's really what I wanted, we could be thinking about it. But we're not. We're fortunate to live in a nice house with a nice mortgage to go along with it. We're fortunate in our jobs since people are still being furloughed and let go but what we make together probably one of us should be making almost individually. Yeah, that hurts. So we're waiting and saving. Our lives are in a sea of change anyways with me trying to get a new job and Jonathan's job moving to a new city next summer that's almost 2 hours away. Yeah, that sucks and we're still not sure how to deal with it. So we're waiting. We're enjoying Vincent. He's at a wonderful age, and he's a little sponge saying new words, asking inquisitive questions {what's this name for objects he doesn't have the word for yet}. So while we're waiting, we're also taking this time to sit back, take stock, enjoy what we have, and even glimpsing some hummingbirds in the process. Sure the grass might be greener over there {better paying job, more babies, stylish clothes, and a magazine-worthy house}, but green just means there's been a lot of manure and rain. Manure and rain. 

Evening walk

These days I'm donning a pedometer and tracking my daily mileage. Working from home, I don't log much, as you can imagine. So this weekend we started family walks. We don't go far. It's more just a way for me to get out of the house, tire Vincent out before bed, and soak in the last rays of summer {that feels like a wet blanket}. Tonight, Vincent was super charming, and wore both his hat and sunglasses. The whole way. He was serious too, which probably makes the whole get-up even funnier. He's never serious {unless he's demanding something}. This boy has my heart these days. I'm glad to know he's mine and that I get to be his mother. We had a rough go of it the first two years. 

What I missed while I was gone

I can't tell you how excited I was to get home to my boys. As much as I thoroughly enjoyed my time away and hanging with some family, I couldn't wait to find out how much Vincent missed me. Or not.

I walked in the door and the first thing he asked, "Where's Tami (my sister) and the doggie?" Wow. Mom's home and he barely notices.

In the week I was away it seems like Vincent learned more words and is speaking in longer sentences. He told me all kinds of things and coherently. 

The thing I did forget: how exhaustive it is to stay present and engaged with Vincent. It took less than a day for the magic of my vacation to wear off. I do feel more patient in his melodramatics.

This morning he flipped out over the flax seeds in his oatmeal. The oatmeal he has eaten every morning, stuffing it in his mouth as fast as possible. So I calmly took him out if his seat while Dad threw waffles in the toaster. After Vincent had inhaled a couple of waffles, getting some food in his system, he was calmed down and ready to take on those pesky flax seeds.

Oh the dramatics!

A new footprint

Vincent's class did clay footprints. They did them last year for Mother's Day. I'm amazed at the difference, and maybe a little sad too. Sad that I haven't loved up that baby inside him and pushed him so hard to grow into the two year he is today. I think we'll always struggle with that; me holding onto that snuggle side of him that was him for so frustratingly long while pushing him to take the leap without me holding his hand, to know it's OK to carve out your curiosity on your own and make your own path. 

Well I did say simplify

I've been working on something huge. I'm not going to say bigger than life because well, the product of that venture is soundly asleep in his room. :) But a verbal presentation is involved, and I haven't given a presentation since my mandatory speech class in college. I've never had a problem speaking in public. The part that gets me is being prepared enough, so that's where I'm at. Preparing my little pants off and hoping I can do this.

This weekend Vincent had the tummy bug. It's so sad when your child wakes you up screaming in the middle of the night and you go to find him covered in vomit. Thank goodness for zip-up footie pjs. Unzip, pull child from clothes, put soiled pjs in washer, rezip child in new pair. We worried he'd puke again and because we didn't want to have to deal with having to clean up our bed if he got sick, we all slept in the guest bedroom. I barely got any sleep because Vincent wanted to play.

Just like this

Seems like I'm always dreaming of a life with more and better. Better job. More decorations. More clothes. Better hair. Better Mama. Better wife. I dream of this world where everything is exactly where and how I want it to be, but if that happened, wouldn't I be done with life?! So instead I'm taking a look around at my life and wanting it to be just like this. Just like this.

Merry Christmas

It's Vincent's second Christmas and boy is it wildly different from last year. Last year he was still a baby baby and drinking formula from a bottle. This year it's what do we feed him that he'll actually eat and keeping him entertained while I cook. Thank goodness for Curious George! The thyme and parmesan roasted sweet potatoes, kale and bacon Mac n cheese, wine braised brisket, and pumpkin crescent rolls were a smashing success! Well, for all the adults anyhow. Vincent wouldn't eat anything after all the crackers he ate. Typical.

Presents under the tree

My sweet sister sent us a box full to the brim with lovely packages. What joy to place them under the tree. Vincent wasn't as happy about it. #mamaletmeopenthem

Little big shot

My tiny man is getting ear tubes today. I'm ambivalent about it, mainly because I don't think putting kids under is a good idea. But the benefits outweigh my mama duckling concern.

Insta Friday

Here I go again. Maybe this time blogging will stick, but instead of focusing on my very obvious lack of blogging, let's instead focus on how Jessica Simpson may or may not be pregnant. If I see her in a poncho, my vote is that her stall is occupied.

Somehow it's Friday already. This week went way too fast.

On Monday we went to the doctor to get Vincent's ears checked after a two-week course of antibiotics for an ear infection. Another one. We're done. We're throwing in the towel and seeing an ENT for possible tube placement. I'm heartbroken. I had these when I was little, and I here I am today still with chronic ear problems. I hope Vincent wasn't cursed with my ear genes. Here's to ear health.

Speaking of that little boy, he's so silly. Already hates to have his picture taken. He tells me, "No, Mama." What? Like taking a picture of this dashing boy shouldn't be worth my time. Please.

Those eyelashes set my heart a pitter pattering. Love. 

Those teeth. Thank you tooth fairy for finally blessing my son with teeth at 15 months, but did they really have to be carrot chompers. My bad ears and big teeth. Poor guy.

Handsome, right? Even with a smidge of soup right. there.

"No Mama."

Last Saturday was spent trying to get started on my Christmas decorating. I gave up. Sunday we sent Vincent to grandma's. Boy am I thankful for aunts who love him so. 

This garland looks a little sick and sad. More decorating is in order. I'm told one jingle bell is plenty. Testy, aren't ya?

Not done yet, but look a farm at Christmastime! Yeah, this is probably as close as I'll ever get to owning one.

Since I had to drag the ladder out to decorate I decided I should take a peek at the burned out lightbulbs so we can quit living by candlelight in the dark. This the bulb I found. Seriously? This is like a Christmas tree light!

I introduced Vincent to penguin and snowman tic tack toe. Not sure we fully understood the concept of the game. 

Red and gold just because I think it's magical, not because I was am a Chiefs fan.

Oh, look, a fire while we decorate. Ha! Thanks Netflix.

Oh, you had me at gold mercury jeweled glass hello. And all for $1.49. I had to buy you and two brothers. Might have to go back for more. 

Sherpa is the new Uggs. I wear this thing. And I want one in colors for every season. Meet my Christmas Sherpa. I'm contemplating the name Shirley.   

Speaking of shopping, Mama bought herself Young House Love's new book on the Nook. It was a steal at $2.99. Hoping Santa brings me the hardback. I can appreciate both pages that turn and screens that swipe. I'm savvy like that.

I've been doing a lot of this lately mixed with applying for new jobs. I wish knitting could be my full-time job. If it was, I'd be more broke than homeless man. I'm terrible. Herringbone might be my nemesis.

I've been drinking a lot of hot tea with the onset of winter and work stress. With a dash of honey and my Shirley Sherpa, I feel so zen. Cue the "Ommmm."