I get knocked down

I'm angry. Not just angry, jealous and confused.
Tonight: Friend on Facebook writes about her daughter who isn't even a year took her first unassisted two steps.
Earlier this evening: Picture me trying to coax Vincent into pulling up. PULLING UP! He throws a fit when we make him stand, let alone try to get him interested in anything beyond that. It's baffling to be a parent of a child who isn't curious and eager enough to want to do things on his own. He'd rather sit back and watch all the other kids, or lately, have us participate with him. The therapists tell us that though Vincent has low muscle tone, much of it is his personality. He has to be ready to make the decision to try something out.
I know one day he'll be walking just fine and this will all be great story to tell the grandkids, but honestly, it pisses me off because in the meantime Vincent is missing out on a lot. At his daycare they won't let him progress to the toddler room to be with other kids his age because he can't walk. So he hangs out with babies all day who don't do a whole lot of interacting with him. They're also drinking from bottles (while he's drinking from a sippy cup) and eating baby food (he's eating table food), which he's fully aware is different. Some days I'm told he wants a bottle and their food. He doesn't understand why his is different. I worry that he has to play by himself a lot since babies aren't horribly social with one another, and maybe that's why he doesn't want to play by himself at home because after doing it all day, he's craving playing with his loving parents whom he can trust. I'm trying to be patient, but it breaks my heart some days.
I've found that the biggest part of parenting is accepting who your child is. Someday I could very well be accepting if my child is gay, a nerd, a loner, or some other quality that I don't fully understand. So while all of this is heartbreaking for me, Vincent is an amazing little boy who loves to cuddle and be held, who's hanging onto babyhood for dear life. Why am I so eager to push when he so clearly isn't ready? Why am I trying to change his fundamental nature? After all, who doesn't love a snugly kid?

In business...sort of

I have a love of all things typography and mantras. Combine the two and what do you get? Prints and notecards. Duh. It's something I've been doing for a little while for myself, but recently my sister asked if maybe I could start making them to sell in her Etsy shop and split the profit. Um yes. Where do I sign?

So I'm in business in my sister's Etsy shop. I have big plans and if I do well, maybe I'll open my own shop or just step it up under my sister's venture. She's better at the logistics and knows the art of how to send a package to make it fun and professional. No detail goes unnoticed for that one.

Check it out and support us. I also do custom prints and PDFs.

Full of wonder

Vincent has been exploring as of late. This is such a blessed, wonderful thing because he's so attached to us—me in particular. Usually he doesn't let us out of his sight. But that's changing, and before you say, "Oh, just wait. You'll wish he didn't explore. He'll get into everything." Well, that's OK with me. That's how he learns! And I love to watch him learn and develop. Getting into everything is part of his development. I don't take development for granted these days. I welcome it with open arms.

In his exploring, he's found out that he can see out the back door. It's become his favorite spot. He can look out the window and spy on the neighbors, watch and clap for the birds that happen to land in our yard, and yell at the cars driving down the street. He talks the entire time. Last night I captured the wonder in his eyes. I love watching him watch the world and take it all in. Seeing it through his eyes.

30 year bash

This past weekend my sister threw me a 30th bday fete. I got so spoiled during this party that I wished that all my family lived closer so we could have parties like this all the time. But first, let's back up so I can tell you why it was so wonderful.

This party has been in the works for a while. Maybe since I turned 29. I wanted a party when I turned 30, dammit. That's a big number! And for some reason, maybe chalk it up to all my life experience (I have more in my pinky toe than most people), I've felt 30 for a very long time. Now my age and insides would match!

When my sister asked what I wanted to do to celebrate, I think I might have said something like, "Let's put some cheese and chocolate on it." I'm talking fondue. I'm talking the creme de la creme of fondue. The one and only Melting Pot. Ever been? If you love cheese, chocolate, and sharing your food with other people, it's your thing. Watch out though; it's expensive.

Mmm. Cheese!

My sister insisted that I had to get a fun drink. A Bourbon Berry Bramble it was. Whew! It was strong!

On Saturday, after I packed up my little teething, grouchy sweet bambino to go spend the night with his grandparents (Daddy went too) so I could enjoy a day, night, and morning to myself, my entourage consisting of three sisters, two sister in laws, two friends, and three nieces headed to the Plaza to partake in melty goodness. That's a whole lot of people dipping! Oh, and a total surprise to me: I was lavished with jewels. Since I talked up the first jewelry hanger in this post, my sister's mind must have went crazy into overdrive on party planning because not only did she get me a jewelry hanger, she had everyone gift me with new jewelry! Ain't no bare hanger here. Getting ready lately isn't so much a question of what I will wear that day, but rather what jewelry to put on. It's a horrible problem to have.

My new jewelry hanger! Look at all those new baubles!

After stuffing ourselves, we were off to the Legends to get pedicures. I heart me some painted toenails and message chairs. I really need to get pedicures more often. I was really tempted to do gray toes with maybe yellow tips, but then the 80s came calling. Neon yellow it was! For a fun twist, my pedicurist (is that what they're called?) put tiger stripes on them. Meow! Happy, sassy toes for this 30 year old.

My sweet and beautiful niece Tabytha and I getting pedicures. She opted for sparkly toes that alternated every other toe. Loved it.

My toes are the ones with the flower flip flops. Hard to see, but they're sassy!

After that we headed to Charming Charlie's, not that I needed anything since I was basically handed the store in a gift bag earlier. But it was still fun to peruse. There are still some items I want, of course. I think buying jewelry might be my new thing—and dresses.

After we got our fill of baubles, those still partying vegged out with hot dogs, Mr. Pibb, pretzel bites, and popcorn in front of the big screen. I hadn't seen Hunger Games yet, and though most of my family had, they were sweet enough to go see it again with me. Spoiled I tell you! The movie was amazing. Unlike the horrible acting in Twilight, Hunger Games really got it right, sticking close enough to the book that I didn't notice the things that were left out.

The night ended back out my house. I would like to say that we stayed up and partied all night, maybe drinking Oklahoma Sparks wine and eating snacks, but that would be lie. This Mommy was tired since I usually am in bed by 9, and it was pushing midnight after a brief period of time where my sister Tami introduced us to Ed Bassmaster on YouTube. We still did knock back some raspberry iced tea in milk bottles and fun straws, courtesy of the party planner and the little snacks I did have in the house (cheddar bunnies and M&Ms).

The night ended in a delicious put-the-baby-to-bed reprieve. My king-size bed has never felt more relaxing. And waking up without the bambino was a gift in and of itself.

It was a wonderful party. Not sure why anyone would be afraid to turn the big three oh when it's a great excuse to party.

Fifty shades of grey

Ha! I love it when a cultural reference can be worked into a title. This one bearing the name of the much buzzed about book of the same name. Have you read it? I have. It's not for children though, so please keep them away from this book. Unless you want to explain a few things. Things that most likely you can't even answer yourself. It starts out pretty dark and twisty. I picked it up after reading some articles about how it totally goes against the women's movement. I also wanted to read it because the story started out as fan fiction. It's not the best writing and you can plainly see where she gets her material (i.e. Twlight and Pretty Woman, just to name a couple). But enough about books that may or may not have a bit too much ahem ahem. Let's talk paint.

I'm tired of everyday going and sitting in my taupe box I call an office. The color is the builder grade latex paint they slap everywhere that we didn't pay to have painted (i.e. the great room, dining room, and kitchen). It's not a good taupe. It's pretty dark as far as taupes go. If I had to give it a name, I'd call it Uglier Than a Dry Desert with No Water in Sight. I'm pretty sure that's the only way you'd like this color. If you had been trekking through the desert, thirsty, hot, tired, and even hallucinating. Got that?

The gray (I opt for this spelling of the color) craze has taken over and I'm going to jump on the bandwagon. This weekend I went to Home Depot to grab some swatches and a paint sample. After looking at the sample for a while, I decided to go with Behr's Sterling. When I compared it to other colors, it seemed light and airy, almost silvery. The other shades seemed too dark.

Early part of the day

Later part of the day

But that's the thing about picking a color underneath commercial-grade lighting—your light colors are going to seem darker than they really are and the dark colors way darker than they actually appear. Good thing there are paint samples.

Taupe and Sterling in action. See the blueish white I was talking about?

Yesterday I quickly slapped some squares all over the walls in my office. I usually paint a square or so on each wall to see how it plays with the light. When I opened the container, I knew I was in trouble. It looked like a blueish white paint, but I said to myself, "Jessaca, paint dries darker." So I went to lunch and then took stock.

My office apparently gets more natural blue light than I had realized, thereby washing out my silvery gray. It wasn't anywhere near the dramatic color I needed since I want to pair with with splashes of purples and yellows.

See the paint chip with the much darker color on the bottom? I'm going to get sample of that. I think it'll play nicely with natural light. It seemed really dark in the store, but now looking at it on the wall, it's the obvious choice.

Next I'm going to try the bottom right color. It's something like Porpoise. Not a very glamour name.

Eggcellent jewelry holder

Last month when my sister was out, we ventured to Jo-Ann's. One thing I love about Jo-Ann's: I always go to look at/buy fabric, and usually walk away with a total surprise find—and no fabric. This time it was a little baby blue ceramic egg holder. I found it in the Easter decor. But I'm not big on decorating for Easter. All those pastels make me want to puke. But I had another idea in mind for it: an earring holder! The pastel blue? Well, alone without any other pastel crap around it, the color is oceany perfect and right up my color alley.

I wish I could take credit for the idea of using an egg crate as a jewelry holder, but I can't. What do you think? I still want to make something for my necklaces. Oh, and have you been to Charming Charlie's yet? I don't like to spend money on anything jewelry, so CC's is perfect for me. I can try some pieces without breaking the bank. And what's more? It's organized my color, so I can buy according to my mood. Like the yellow numbers you can spy in my egg crate. I must have been in a happy spring mood that day. Those things are actually pretty big, so I've only worn them a couple times.

Oh, and maybe you're wondering what I'll do when I run out of room? I can always rotate sets that I'm not really that into for the moment back into my jewelry box.

West elm wish list

Because it's my birthday (oy. 30.), I decided I would put together a wish list post of eye candy that's taken my hazel peepers and kept them. In my window shopping, I realized that really I spend most of my time over at West Elm. So here's my my wish list a la West Elm. If I had a few grand to spend. Wouldn't that be nice?

1. This Chunky Tassel Throw in silver gray ($79)

One of my real-life birthday presents was a snow white Cracker Barrel rocker. It was a complete surprise, and one that I'm still figuring out how to arrange in our living room since our sectional eats up most of the real estate (she probably will end up on the front porch; the rocker, not the sectional). But right now I'm enjoying her even if she is a little in the way and thought she could use throw and possibly a pillow. I think this number would cozy up the chair a little bit because really, rocking chairs are not that comfy.

2. I've had my eye on this Organic Carved Circles Duvet forever (originally $109 and currently on sale...I might have to buy her)

I think the gold would pair nicely with the ocean blue of my bedroom. It's not too feminine and it's not too masculine and has a beachy quality to it that always seems to call my name.

3. Globe Pendant ($99)

One of the things high up on my to-do list is replace some of the builder grade lighting, especially the ones that look like boobs. I would love to hang this over our island, and because it's so neutral, I could still do something fun over the dining table and hand another pendant over the sink without it clashing. Maybe this capiz chandelier for over the table?

4. Boerum dresser ($799)

I love the reclaimed, distressed look of this dresser. Like it's been adrift to sea.

5. Window daybed ($449)

Working from home means my office is my guest bedroom. Complete with a bed. I try my best to ignore it on my just-wanna-go-back-to-bed-days. A daybed would still provide a guest a spot to rest a noggin but provide a little more real estate and function (another place to sit and edit). But who am I kidding?! I'd still want to curl up there most days.

6. Turned Foot Dining Vitrine ($799...on sale for $499)

Small kitchen=not enough storage for all my lovely Pampered Chef serving pieces. This vitrine is new on my list, but I love that I could still show off my white lovelies and have a drawer for napkins and other serving items. The legs also would match our dining table legs. Nothing like a nice pair of legs.